I may wait a day or two

until claiming an official January weight, even if it means not having on the 1st. It will probably depend if I can stop myself from weighing for a few days, because if I weigh myself it has to count.

I was 136 when I left for family Christmas Up North. I will be back home the night of the 30th, so if I'm good I should be able to take off a pound or two of bloat in that day. One or two days might get me back to my "real" weight though - I don't want it artificially inflated with tummy rubbish. We'll see. I tend to plan and then go with whatever force drives me in the moment.

Muletide

Binge. Then binge some more. Repeat. That is all.

Real

My weight seems to have settled into a day to day range of 132-134. This is fairly pleasing, since I don't think I've really settled at a weight below 138 until this month. I've been pretty much eating to hunger, and eating a lot when I'm craving it. Not the crazy binge-type urges like last week, just very, very hungry.

I'm starting to feel like 134 is my new safe number. As long as it is 134 or lower, it's not so bad.

I think I'm going to end up taking the scale to the family Christmas vacation again this year. Sigh.

.

I have eaten too much.

There have been carbs.

I've had a lot to drink.

I hesitate before stepping on the scale, bracing for impact.

Oh, is that all?

132.

Descent

131.0

I don't FEEL like I've been restricting that much?

Heck, I even had a McDonald's value meal breakfast yesterday.

But... I picked off half the tortillas on the burritos...

And what else did I eat?

Um.

A Fiber One brownie with a heap of peanut butter on it.

And

And

Rosemary veggies with a chicken thigh.

Oh.

Six

133.8 yesterday, 131.8 today. I think it's just dehydration because I spent most of the day asleep.

I'll take the 133.8 quite happily as a "real" number.

My eating is kind of in limbo. I have not been particularly low carb since Thanksgiving... My impression is that at least some of the crazy hunger and binge urges are related to my body missing the nutrients in carb-based foods. I sensed a warning that I should not try to push it further right now or I will end on a serious rebound of ongoing binges and weight gain.

Above all, I must not regain the weight. If that means I have to ease up on trying to lose right now, even though it's really only about six pounds lost, I need to be smart. Six pounds still made a difference. I can feel it in my waist and the fit of my jeans. Losing six pounds at this weight pretty much takes the same effort that losing 10 did at the higher weights. Six pounds still matters.

Dec 1

136.0, which somehow seems worlds more bearable than the .8 extra yesterday. I'm using it as the official monthly weight rather than fuss around trying to get a "real" number all week. It is what it is, and it's still 4 pounds better than November 1!

January 1: 157

February 1: 153

March 1: 145

April 1: 139

May 1: 137

June 1: 137

July 1: 138

August 1: 138

September 1: 136

October 1: 138

November 1: 140

December 1: 136