3/17

Time is running away from me. I haven't weighed in several days, but the last number I saw was 156.

Sammy - I accidentally posted the 7th instead of saving it to drafts. That calorie total was pretty much my breakfast.

I had a physical therapy session yesterday after the employee health eval that sidelined me. I hadn't made it in to PT for a couple of weeks due to not scheduling appointments far enough in advance, and he worked on my ribcage and back a little bit.

Today I am maybe daring to hope I feel a bit better?

3/7

Croissant x3 990
Pineapple orange banana juice 150 (1140)

3/6

Tagalongs 630

Not the best way to start the day, but today the pain is flaring up more and I need to take the meds with food. Tagalongs, Diet Coke, and pills were within reach on my nightstand, so I sat and puttered on my computer to give the meds a few minutes to start working before I had to get out of bed.

Eggsperiments 1000 (1630)

Sorrynot sorry wait I'm sorry

I was testing soufflé add-in combinations. 

AUGH I KEPT GOING.

Then there was the apple souffle experiment (bread pieces, diced apple, cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar, vanilla, egg), which I ate immediately in its entirety.

Golden delicious apple 150

Apple experiment 600 (2380)

Feck. And it's only 5 pm.

Later:

Tuna Alfredo. Many calories.

Pineapple orange banana juice: 150 calories.

Total: many calories.

I may have a croissant later for a total of many calories. Sigh.

Trying for an early night to swim a little bit tomorrow.

3/5

I know based on the way that I was drinking yesterday that I'm retaining a lot of water. I won't weigh today; it would just make me upset.

I'm on prednisone, anyway... I'm going to retain water.

I have to take the steroid (daily) and muscle relaxer (every 6 hours as needed, which I am going to take regularly today and probably tomorrow to make sure I'm ready for work on Monday).

I WILL however track my numbers, no matter how bad they get. I will also start fresh when the steroids run out on Thursday.

Edit: I decided I'd rather know the damage.

155

Better than I expected. 

Honey bunches of oats with 2% milk 320

Chocolate and moose tracks ice creams 450 (870)

Ranch tuna salad with cheddar on croissant 590 (1460)

Cottage cheese & honey (bigger bowl) 250 (1710)
Croissant 330 (2040)

3/4

Sammy, you could never offend me. You are being genuine and truthful and I would never be mad about that.

I did not weigh because I was in too much fucking pain to get my pajamas off this morning.

The sore ribcage that I've had since last Saturday (when I think I pulled a muscle in my chest while lifting a patient) turned into a snarling monster of spasms starting overnight. When my alarm went off to get ready for work today, I could barely move or breathe without pain.

Good times.

I called off sick for work, and slept a few more hours til the doctor's office opened. Getting proper treatment isa whole other story, but the pain (and now medications) is the reason my eating is jacked up today.

Sausage, egg, & cheese biscuit 490

Bacon & cheese whopper 760

Onion rings 320 (1570)
Qdoba tacos x3 760 (2330)
Chips & queso 290 (2620)
Tagalongs 420 (3040)

Cottage cheese & honey 170 (3210)

3/3

153.8

Chicken pot pie 600

Broccoli 100

Potatoes 100

Chic chip cookie 250

Cinnamon toast crunch 160 (1210)

Cottage cheese & honey 170 (1380)

Seasoned deli  chicken 100 (1480)

Today was a work day, and cafeteria food calories are guesstimates. Chicken pot pie is always worth it. The smashed potatoes had no flavor an were cold by the time I got to them, so it's a good thing I didn't have butter within reach to revive them. 

I have decided I am allowed at least 2,000 calories for work days. If I eat under 2.000 I am allowed to bank the extra.

This means if I get to sleep without eating more tonight, I get over 2,500 calories tomorrow. Heck yes.

March Weight

158.4, which I'm considering 158 because whole numbers are better.

I've officially had it with my weight. I suspect the climbing number is contributing to the increased pain flare-ups over the last 2 weeks.

Restricting is bad for you, but nonstop bingeing is bad for you, and constant pain is very, very bad for you.

3/1

Fasted. 0 calories.

3/2 - Down to 155.0 (oy ve)

Whole milk cottage cheese 130

Deli Turkey 150

Cheddar & mozzarella sticks 170 (450)

Giant Arby's roast beef, only the beef 360 and a little horsey sauce 10 (820)
Whole milk cottage cheese with local raw honey 170 (990)

Oh my word, the cottage cheese and honey was divine. Creamy and sweet. I'd discovered the glory of honey and plain yogurt before, but I have not been in the mood for yogurt lately. This is just as delicious, just in a slightly different way as plain yogurt is more zingy.

10/10 will do again.

It's 10:30 and I have to be at work tomorrow, so I'm trying to turn in without eating more.

I'm reminding myself that being a little hungry won't hurt me. Being a little hungry won't keep me from being able to move. Being a little hungry won't put me in more pain.

I'm not talking about long-term restricting, just about trying to reverse the endless binge I've been on for the last year and a half.

A slippery slope.