120s, Here I Come

134.something evening of January 31st

131.8 evening after Short Play Festival (8am-10pm day after no sleep)

133.something morning after SPF

131.2 today

Since the 131.8 was actually on February 1st, I am going with 132 as my official February weigh-in.

Year-to-date:
January 1: 134
February 1: 132

It seems kind of funny posting such a short list, but I want to keep in the habit of doing the monthlies... It helps to have an overall trend identifiable. Even when a month is up a few pounds, I can see "Yeah but this is the range I have been in. Overall my weight is stable." Honestly, it also keeps me from trying to dehydrate/do a few days of restricting to get an artificially low number. I know that I'll just feel like crap if the number bounces back up next month. I'd rather have a higher number recorded so that if I don't keep losing I don't feel bad, and if I do lose I feel even better.

I really did NOT want to restrict during the day of the SPF, but when I got there at 7:30 it turned out the cafe was not serving fresh food. Pretty much the only solid items they had were muffins, cookies, and chips. I ended up having a carton of milk for breakfast. People were dissecting the social context of my play

I think some of it is dehydration because the SPF was SUCH a long day, and because I have been sweating at night trying to get the temperature right with the house temp set cool and a space heater & heating blanket in my room to stay comfortable overnight. But... but.... I am leaning more toward my restrictive tendencies. I think that within a week or two I will be in the 120's for real.

I have not been in the 120's since the summer when I was 18. My first summer with bulimia. My lowest weight during that summer was 118.5. I am currently at my lowest weight in 11 years, and I am less than 14 pounds from my lowest weight since mid-high school.