31

139.4 MAKE IT STOP.

More laxatives. I wonder what my waist is right now. <shudder>

30

136.4

Laxatives not working.

I think Maleficent the ovary is up to something. My nipples don't pass the pinch test.

28

No weight today as I am already eating.
There will be more laxatives.

27

138.4
Holy hell, indeed.
Breakfast burrito

2 French toast
3 strips bacon
grilled cheese
potatoes au gratin
chocolate chip cookie
banana pudding
2 nachos belgrande
Cinnamon delights 4-pack
Laxatives (appropriate dosage)

26 (final)

137.8 holy hell
Breakfast burrito
Breaded pork
Chili Mac
Mashed potatoes
12 chicken nuggets
Large chocolate frosty

Bedtime note: time for laxatives. I missed a week or two of metformin and I think restarting it has me backed up. This is MISERABLE.

25 (final)

136.8

Breakfast burrito
Personal pizza
Sweet potato frieze
Nachos belgrande
Chicken soft taco
Steak quesarito
Half protein shake 90

24 Hunger Won't Kill Me

But darned if it doesn't get in the way of everything else! I need to get used to being a little hungry. I know too much trying to override hunger leads to binges but ffs body, you can go 6 hours without food.

Pasta-bean-veggie soup with cheese & crackers 300

I'm back at home now with one chocolate fluff filled donut in tow. I could've done worse yesterday. I want to do better today.

Skyline Chili 820
Chocolate fluff donut 500?
Milk 240
(1860)
What was I just saying?
Oh well.
Next 3 days are 12-hour orientation days, so they will either go very well or very poorly...

Mac n cheese 800
Chickpeas 150
Mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich 170
(2980)

Feck.

23 (final)

The trouble with yesterday is that the cat-sitting binge monster got me. For some reason, WS's house has long been a binge trigger for me. I've moved away from that issue over the last few years, but it hit me between the eyes yesterday. Today I think I'm through it. My giant puffy belly says I don't want to keep going like that.

I go on a final apartment viewing with Charlie today at 5 pm. He will probably suggest dinner, so no food til then.

I spend tonight with the kitties again, then go home tomorrow. I can do 24 more hours.

Cajun creole dinner with Charlie: half chili cheese etouffee with crawfish, half caramelized spicy corn and black beans. Both over rice, left some of the rice behind. Got extra bread because their bread and the seasoned oil they flavor it with are to die for. They don't post nutrition info but I'm just going to say 1,200 because I left with a full belly.

2 fluff-filled donuts and one cheese danish, chew & spit (bad Tempest) 500?

Smoked ham to offset the donut carb-bomb 100

:::pokes at swollen cajun donut belly::: squish squish.

1800 but I think I'm rounding way up. I hope I'm rounding way up. Need to stop this eating crap without nutrition info available. Or need to stop chaining myself to meaningless numbers. Ya know, one or the other.

22 (final)

129.6.

Eh?? Maybe I'm sweating more than I think in this heat.

Intake done in retrospect on the 23rd.. I have an ice cream bar hangover headache.

Jr bacon cheeseburger 390
Strawberry shake 540
Golden Grahams snack bar 140
Potato chips 360
5 Klondike bars (ice cream coated in chocolate shell) 1250

:::gurgles in disgust::: Total 2,680

But hey, you know what I said? Tomorrow (today) is a new fucking day.

I had two spectacular days under 1,100 and this did not cancel those out.

Onward.

21 (final)

Ravioli with butternut squash filling is absolutely delicious! The best I ever had was in a browned butter sauce with dried cranberries. A lovely combination of sweet-tart-creamy. Lean Cuisine makes it in a creamy sauce with slivered carrots and pea pods, and it is by no means restaurant-quality but it's still pretty good!

Breakfast tacos 540
Qdoba 3 steak tacos and some chips with queso 850
(1400)

Oops. Day out apartment hunting with Charlie and we had breakfast and lunch together.

Now the question is, what to do about dinner? I am more comfortable going through the day hungry and having a bigger meal at bedtime. It's easier to sleep. I think tonight I'll make some soup so I can still have that full-belly feeling, but it should be below 200 extra calories.

129.6 today. I'm sure I bombed that with today's eating, but I haven't overeaten (yet) and tomorrow is another day.

Vanilla cone 170

(Final 1570)

20 (final)

The number is the date I'm recording intake for. I'll just put the date unless it's a post of other things like goals and whatnot.
Sadly, there will be no zombie race. My new job's orientation got scheduled over race day :(
Oh, what a difference a day can make! 132. I know that realistically I didn't burn off more than 1/3 pound but the point is to keep going so that the "real" loss eventually adds up, right? Right.
Don't get me wrong, there are more people in theater and some of the girls that were backstage or in the short play festival are very thin. I definitely can't compete for Who's The Thinnest Of Them ALL? But the Chicago crowd is kind of our core group atm so I'm enjoying feeling smaller while it lasts.
Coke 200 (they gave me regular by mistake in the drive thru but I was hot and thirsty so I drank some anyway. Ick)
Butternut squash ravioli, butter 380
Black beans 120
Cheesecake (the last of it... again will see if I can resist and leave it sitting out) 350

(Final 1050)

19 (final)

I just realized I'm the smallest girl in the theater club and I was filled with an intense and irrational need to keep it that way.

Vanilla cone 170 Black beans 120 Swedish meatballs 290 Cheesecake (maybe... Final tba) 550 *Left most of the cheesecake sitting out. Had 200 worth. Triscuits 120 (Total 1000)

Goal

One low-cal week. 133.8.

Eating to stay awake in general orientation. 134.

Food Baby Gestating

Binge binge binge

I am hollow and raw

Year In Review

Jan 1: 134
Feb 1: 132
Mar 1: 127
April 1: 127
May 1: 134
June 1: 130
July 1: 133

I'm so fucking sick of tracking. Of all of this.

I've been eating junky foods but in fairly moderate portions.

JULY

Wow, can you believe the year is half over?? It's just after midnight so I won't have a new month weight until "tomorrow." I've wasted SO much energy to end up essentially maintaining for 6 months. Fucking eating disorder.