February

January 1: 132
February 1: 129

3, 4

129.6
130.4

At this point I'm thinking "real" weight is 129-130?

Still eating emotionally, but a bit less bingey. No 4,000 calorie days yet this year, at any rate...

21

129.8

Apparently milkshake dinners are not on the list of things that make me bloat! Or maybe blind rage is a diuretic (see other blog). 

Sausage McMuffin 370

Mcdouble 380

90 minute puppy play date. I wasn't doing much myself, but Xander got an hour and a half of romping with the uncle's dogs and their toys, so happy puppy :)

Sesame stir fry chicken lean cuisine 280 (1030)

M&Ms 500

Bean chips 140

(1670)

16

129.0 waht

Waist 29" (down 3.5" from 8/4 140 pounds)

Hips 38" (down 1.5" from then)

I'm still eating plenty... Perhaps all the puppy walks are boosting my calorie burn (and insulin sensitivity) more than I dared hope!

Alas, my main cue that this is Real Weight Loss is that my chest is shrinking. Cue body image fuckery.

30 minute puppy walk

Breakfast burrito 290

Protein shake 190 (480)

Carmel sundae 340 (820)

Bacon mcdouble 440 (1260)

I am somewhat bloated and uncomfortable after the sundae & burger. Possible culprits lately are possibly dairy (cottage cheese and now ice cream)?but my belly handles large quantities of milk just fine so lactose intolerance doesn't seem logical. Apart from these few incidents though, my tummy is much, much happier than it has been in a long time. I'm not motivated enough to do specific food trials to see what might be the problem atm though. Job, theater, and puppy are taking up all my energy.  

Squash ravioli 260 (1520)

Bean chips 140 (1660)

Mac n cheese 500 (2160)

22 (final)

129.6.

Eh?? Maybe I'm sweating more than I think in this heat.

Intake done in retrospect on the 23rd.. I have an ice cream bar hangover headache.

Jr bacon cheeseburger 390
Strawberry shake 540
Golden Grahams snack bar 140
Potato chips 360
5 Klondike bars (ice cream coated in chocolate shell) 1250

:::gurgles in disgust::: Total 2,680

But hey, you know what I said? Tomorrow (today) is a new fucking day.

I had two spectacular days under 1,100 and this did not cancel those out.

Onward.

21 (final)

Ravioli with butternut squash filling is absolutely delicious! The best I ever had was in a browned butter sauce with dried cranberries. A lovely combination of sweet-tart-creamy. Lean Cuisine makes it in a creamy sauce with slivered carrots and pea pods, and it is by no means restaurant-quality but it's still pretty good!

Breakfast tacos 540
Qdoba 3 steak tacos and some chips with queso 850
(1400)

Oops. Day out apartment hunting with Charlie and we had breakfast and lunch together.

Now the question is, what to do about dinner? I am more comfortable going through the day hungry and having a bigger meal at bedtime. It's easier to sleep. I think tonight I'll make some soup so I can still have that full-belly feeling, but it should be below 200 extra calories.

129.6 today. I'm sure I bombed that with today's eating, but I haven't overeaten (yet) and tomorrow is another day.

Vanilla cone 170

(Final 1570)

Day 6 (final)

129.4
Bunless McChicken 10, 0
Dark meat rotisserie chicken 2, 0
Green beans 5, 4
Creamed spinach 14, 8
Cornbread 28, 2
Protein water 1, 5
(60, 19)
Ham & Swiss cheese omelet 8, 0
More creamed spinach :D 7, 4
Peanut butter 6, 2
(81, 25)

Day 4 (final)

Black olives 12, 1
Banana Chobani 19, 1
(31,2)
Cottage cheese with chow mein noodles 22, 2 (I splurged on a giant handful of noodles)
Protein water 1, 5
(54, 9)

I feel like death warmed over (final)

129.8
29 years, 29 inches, 129 pounds. Numbers fascinate me.
Protein water 1, 5
Hitting the road for mom's graduation Up North.. I have packed cheese and nuts and some granola bars for the road. I will try to only get bunless burgers if I stop on the way.
Mostly bunless burgers 24, 0
Almond granola bar 21, 2
Jalapeno cheese 4, 0
Snap peas in pod 10, 4
Protein water 1, 5
Peanut M&Ms 28, 2
(89, 18)
V8, Fritos 26, 2
Starving at the hotel vending machine ugh
(115, 20)

Yes Weigh May (final)

129.8

Protein water 1, 5
Coconut roasted almonds 8, 5
Cajun turkey cheddar 8

I almost didn't eat dinner last night. My life is hell right now and the first impulse is not to take care of myself, to let the hunger distract from everything else.

I reminded myself that if I don't honor my hunger, I'm totally missing the point of the low carb stuff. That restricting never leads anywhere good. I ate before I went to sleep. I ate again when I got up. It was hard, but I did it, and I will keep doing it.

Protein water 1, 5
Fake cookie dough: peanut butter, coconut milk, chocolate chips 28, 7
(I wanted something fatty and high cal that might pass as a treat. I mixed the coconut into the pb then stirred in the choco chips. It's ok, but not as good as I'd hoped)

(46, 22)

Olive oil & pepper Triscuits 9, 1
(My fake pb cookie dough left me needing that sweet taste scrubbed out of my mouth)

(55, 23)

For a moment I thought, "I'm having too much." Then I realized I'm supposedly allowing myself 100 grams a day, and I have been dramatically below that for 8 out of 9 days so far. I need to calm down. It is ok to eat.

Turkey, cheddar, ranch dressing 9
Bulletproof hot chocolate 20, 1
I didn't use less milk, but I made it bigger with a half scoop of protein shake mixed in with some water, and a giant gloop of coconut milk. Not sure how I feel about the protein mixed in.

(84, 24)

3 egg omelet which butter & cheese 1
Snap peas in pod (5, 2)
More Triscuits 9, 1
(99, 27)
I'm having wicked cravings so I'm trying to keep my tummy full.
Turkey & cauliflower with butter & cheese 9, 8
Manicotti 20, 1
(128, 36)

Nothing but Chinese buffet

Bad sleep, night sweats.

129.0

Bedtime update: had a guesstimate of 1,000 calories today. 2 liters of unsweetened tea and 1.5 liters of water.

Weighed before bed, thinking, "it will be high but at least I'll know the real number."

129.0

I half think my scale is broken.