Hunger

There have been several times in the last few days that I've felt that deep, gnawing hunger and thought, "I'm about to end up bingeing." Then I realized that I was just really truly hungry. When I'm at my worst with heavy emotional eating and bingeing, I don't really get to the point of being hungry much. It's more like "Well I can stuff more in now."

In a way, it's refreshing to feel hunger. Hunger is not always a bad thing. Hunger won't kill me. Being very hungry also makes alcohol hit very, very hard lol. I got some mini bottles of Pino Grigio last night to celebrate my new place, and I got more drunk from one glass than I have ever been in my life.

But I digress. I'm trying to make reasonable healthy choices. By some miracle the closest superstore has my Magical Crack-infused Rosemary Veggies so I'm having a large serving of bright mixed veggies most days. I made chicken tikka masala with a store ought sauce, rotisserie chicken, black beans for more protein & fiber, and brown (whole grain) rice that made 4 meals. My caffeine intake is pretty low on non-workdays as it's possible that is one of the things making tummy trouble worse. I have peanut butter M&Ms and dark chocolate squares for sweet cravings. I've been doing pretty well at only grabbing a handful and not downing half a family size bag in each sitting. I'm also giving Benefiber mixed into low cal fruit drinks a trial because my beloved Special K protein water is simply no longer available.

I'm not counting calories, and I don't really have a feel for how much I'm eating except that I'm trying not to get so full that I'm uncumfortable, and I'm trying to get good and hungry before I eat again.

Scale has been telling me about 133s-134s for several days. The new bathroom mirror is not doing me any favors, but the scale is moving in the right direction.