Metformin

I feel enormously bloated from ov time. I expected to weigh more, but maybe I'm also dehydrated from sleeping too long, or from my shiny new medication giving me the runs. NOT HAVING FUN HERE.

138 yesterday, 137.4 today.

Shrimp and Cysts

Yesterday's intake

Two cupcakes, two glasses of milk, a turkey sandwich.

135.2.

#1 Danger-Will-Robinson DO NOT ENGAGE behavior: chew & spit. HOW does it mess up my body so much? I don't understand; on paper it looks like such a low-risk thing. But a few episodes will have me orthostatic and my blood sugar off for days. It took time to figure out and I was in stubborn denial for a while, but it really is that bad. I can't let myself do it anymore.

#2 Do not engage behavior: bingeing. But I think I'm at the upper levels of stress where I'm past the desire to binge. I had two cupcakes but I didn't really enjoy them, and I had no desire to wolf down the remaining 4 in the package all at once.

#3 Do not engage behavior: restricting. My days off are one thing, but disordered eating CANNOT bleed into my work performance. I need to fuel for work the next few nights. Fueling for work isn't usually a problem, but the last shift I didn't eat enough. Must do better.

Spice Nation

Only meal yesterday was a first-time-stop at a North Indian buffet with K. HOLY CRAP it was FABULOUS. It was vegetarian & vegan food, which I knew beforehand. I didn't realize until we got there though, that it meant most of the intake would be carbohydrate. I managed to stifle my panic long enough to stuff myself silly, and did not have a blood sugar crash after, which made me very happy.

I absolutely adore the way Indian food is seasoned. Most of it was overly spicy for me, but if I really like a spicy food I just keep eating and chugging water and crying and sniffling and eating. I have trouble remembering the names, but the korma and samosas and saag paneer were all to die for. The restaurant patrons were 90% Indian, which makes me think it is actually authentic Indian food and not too Americanized.

I was in literal physical pain after. It's like everything swelled up in my belly after I finished eating.

137.4.

Fck

133.8. Yesterday's intake a double cheesburger minus half the bun, one mozzarella stick. Because I am a model of health. Because I have a doctors appointment next week and I'm trying to numb down a bit from "scared shitless."

Eat-in Chicken. That's what I said, asshole.

At Sam's Club there was this beautiful looking giant stuffed chicken breast with spinach and artichoke inside. I bought one, loaded up a plate at home and... it smelled so delicious when I heated it up... but it was seriously salty. I ate most of it anyway, because it would have been good except for the salt, but I won't be doing that again...

136.6

Yes. Yes, I'm very hungry.

135.0

34-29-38

Yesterday's intake: two ounces of cashews, a Little Debbie brownie (ugh, how did I like those so much?), and 8 ounces of milk. Could that have been it?? Yes, I think that was it.

135.6.

137.4

Day after buffet. It actually wasn't as good as usual, but I still ate plenty. I haven't worked out in about 3 weeks, which is horrifying - but I just bought a new pair of shoes that will hopefully keep me running comfy, and I have my little cheapy weight bench set up and ready to roll. Must. Get. Moving. Again.

Day 2

At 135.4. I guess I'll call it real :)

I'm going to screw it up by eating my weight in delicious buffet food at dinner theatre tonight, but I'll get back on track on Sunday.

Homemade something would be an accomplishment

Kitty, the granola + yogurt + honey thing sounds exquisite! I keep meaning to try making granola myself, since oats are so cheap and granola is expensive.

I have been low-carbing it... Weight steadily declining over last few days, even though I'm drinking liter after liter. 135.4 this morning.

135.4.

New "I haven't weighed this little since I was 18" weight.

I hit 135.8 briefly in May, but I intend for it to last this time. I'm going to keep low-carbing at least until I'm in the low 130s.

I have lost exactly 55 pounds. I wonder how soon I can make it 60...

Land of Milk & Honey

I never understood why that was supposed to mean something fabulous until I had a Greek strained yogurt with honey. I have seen the light! Mmmm.

137.2, 98 pounds lean mass (28.6%)

How long has it been since I've seen that 7? Two things have helped... I started my period on Friday night and throughout the day beforehand I was losing a lot of retained fluid...

And the carbophobia is kinda kicking in.

I have good days with most parts of my body except my stomach. I have not lost the extra tummy pooch that I acquired when I got so overweight. Eating low carb helps more with belly fat because high insulin levels (insulin resistance + high carb diet = high insulin in the body on a regular basis) promote abdominal fat storage. It won't help with the loose skin, but nothing will so I try not to think about it.

I also have fixated on getting to 135. SO close and yet so far! It's 80% of the way to "healthy" goal, which feels enormous. 70% felt like two-thirds of the way. 80% feels like Almost There.

No-Weigh August lasted 4 days!

Well, until August 4th. I'm sure I was scale-less for a week altogether.

140.2 daytime, 138.4 morning. We'll call it 139. I'm still going to try to weigh less often. Would love to end August at 135 (Goal Weight 8, aka 80% to "healthy" goal).