31

Yesterday and today I've been 130.0 after being up eating and drinking. I don't have a morning weight from today because I was feeling too sluggish and cold to be stripping before the binge drive kicked in and I was snarfing down bowls of cereal.

In other words, for 2014, the binge has won. I expect I'll be 128-130 tomorrow.

30

127.4

It's definitely fluid shift, because my eating is still out of control.

It's after midnight now, so technically the 31st... 24 hours to determine my first weigh-in of 2015. I don't know if I have any effort in me. I keep vacillating between "to hell with it" and "I'm just not going to eat," and "to hell with it" keeps winning by default because it's what's coming naturally right now.

I want out of this body.

28th December, 28 days til I turn 30, 128.8 lb

Numbers are so weird.

128.8

Either the eating has caught up with me or my PCOS is acting up (well it is, I don't pass the nipple pinch test and I'm having night sweats and I feel like crap but it is what it is). Probably both, really. My digestive tract is not moving properly and all laxatives do is cause something really enthusiastic to happen after about 3 consecutive days of taking the normal dose.

Fuck my body.

It doesn't matter exactly what the weight is, it has to come back off. 

17: 14 Days Til New Year

124.4

I have continued to hover in the 124s and 125s, despite all the nomming. There's no way this will last. Something has to change.

11: 20 Days Til New Year

124.0

Huh?

No explanation. We'll pretend this bingefest is "metabolism boosting."

If I scan the tags on my post, it looks like I was a fairly steady 122 before the show (11/20) and I'm a fairly steady 125 now. I guess there are worse things.

Trying to fight the numbness.

9

125.0

Food: lots.

6, 7

125.4

5

125.0

4

125.4

3: 28 Days Til 2015

125.6

Finally some relief with senokot, docusate, and fiber supplements.

I started the day with 650 cals of pumpkin pie. 

I definitely need to keep monitoring the weight, and definitely need to restart tracking my intake. I tend to numb out with bingeing. While I know obsessively tracking everything isn't healthy, right now I'd rather do what it takes to avoid gaining weight. I need to stay aware. 

Pumpkin pie total 1300

Chicken teriyaki 360

Beef pot pie 400

Bacon cheddar McChicken 480

2540 urgh

Year In Review

January 1 2014: 134

February 1: 132

March 1: 127

April 1: 127

[April 30]: 134

June 1 130

July 1: 133

August 1: 139

September 1: 136

October 1: 136

November 1: 125

December 1: 126

2015 Goal: 121

December Weight

126.0

Bloaty waist 28"