Sammy - I will not be overdoing it today, because today it is too cold to move. But swimming is exactly how I avoid overdoing it :)
CP - You are at about what my high weight was. Here, lemme show you:
Set me on fire, I'm the Hindenburg! But really, for some reason while I hated my body, the dysmorphia type issues weren't as bad when I was heavier. I rocked a bikini in the Caribbean at 180 pounds. You know what? Nobody else gave a fuck. I'm sure not everyone looked at me and wanted to ravish me under a cabana, but nobody gave me weird looks, nobody insulted me. I know there ARE people out there who feel like they have the right to critique other people's bodies and actions in those bodies (Sammy has encountered more than her share, and I want to rip them all to shreds for wounding her), but those people are trash and their opinion is worthless. Nobody who matters gives a fuck about the body you exist in or how you dress it or move in it or try to make it better. Also, it's just after New Year. Gyms are flooded with all kinds of Joe Schmoes who are overweight and out of shape - you probably wouldn't stand out. I this might not help at all because it won't make your brain quit screaming at you about it but I hope on some level you know that you are your own worst critic.
Also, weight loss gave me sagging, , bouncing, floppy skin. It most definitely did not make it easier to put on a swimsuit or work out in public. Losing weight isn't the cure-all; don't feel like you have to wait til you're "thin" to deserve to really live.
CP - You are at about what my high weight was. Here, lemme show you:
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| Tempest & Other Tempest |
Also, weight loss gave me sagging, , bouncing, floppy skin. It most definitely did not make it easier to put on a swimsuit or work out in public. Losing weight isn't the cure-all; don't feel like you have to wait til you're "thin" to deserve to really live.
This: " Losing weight isn't the cure-all; don't feel like you have to wait til you're "thin" to deserve to really live."
ReplyDeletewe all should remember this.. I think you are amazing hon.
You are so right. Hiding behind a suit of fat is so easy, compared to having to work on the REAL issues, such as self worth, anxiety, phobias, laziness... And, of course, the "when-I'm-thin-my-life-will-be-perfect" lie, because all thin people are happy, right? Right.
ReplyDeleteI concur with Kitty, you are amazing.
You make a lot of sense Tempest
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with the girls
You are truly amazing
Apologies for my lack of contact
I just wanted to swing by and let you know that I am taking a break from blogging
Just to get my head together
I will be back though
In the mean time
Take care of you x
i had this page up for a while.
ReplyDeletemy mood absolutely plummeted today. i couldn't force myself to write a comment if i tried, but here it goes (if i sound off, then i am so sorry):
i'm glad you're not overdoing it today. listen to your body and make sure you don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to!
oh my god. same. i remember being so delighted to break 189. like exceptionally happy. then i took pictures on that same day, and i remember feeling so despondent, but i was so motivated. i never let it get me down.
now, i've gained a tiny amount (in inches...weight is a different story) and i feel like i've put all my weight on and more. i keep on neurotically asking people if i look like i've gained weight, and they keep on telling me that i didn't or that i look like i've lost it. pretty sure they are tired of my shit.
"Sammy has encountered more than her share, and I want to rip them all to shreds for wounding her" i love you. i fucking love you, okay? this honestly makes me feel better the more i look at it. funnily enough, i had one of those things 2-3 weeks ago where in a literal 10 minute span, someone had called my legs chunky and the next minute, someone else told me that i looked like i was going to disappear from all the weight i'd lost. what? like what do i believe, man?
those moments though. i'm sure lots of people had those kinds of moments but i forgot who...hmm... i can write books on books about mine.
"but those people are trash and their opinion is worthless." seriously freaking pouring with love over here
"Nobody who matters gives a fuck about the body you exist in or how you dress it or move in it or try to make it better." can i just marry you, Thor kitten? you can bring the puppy over too. we can have fun times. i can watch you walk him when i sit down being lazy and eating ice-cream.
funnily enough, the gym is such a secure place. the only class i really hate are weight classes. legit you'd find girls that are literally twigs and they can lift way more than me and make me look like an uncoordinated freshman in the word of weight lifting. all the classes i really like (all cardio classes) are full of poor old overweight people trying to lose weight. some of which did also make comments about my physique (anywhere ranging from 'i take it you're in the gym try and lose a bit off your legs!' to 'you are thin. what are you doing here').
conclusion? don't move to any part of Asia. people are blunt and will tell you what's on their mind whether you like it or not. i find that this is a particular quality in people that are Asian. they tell you whatever is on their mind and nothing is rude. they try to be polite about it (some succeed and others do not).
"Also, weight loss gave me sagging, , bouncing, floppy skin."
i keep on wondering about this. i mean i have lots of cellulite, and they are sort of getting less cheesecake-like but dude... a lot of your posts have me wondering if i have saggy skin or something (we have lost similar enough amounts). Lolita says i don't. now, i'm wondering why don't i?
i'll take small miracles as they are.
"Losing weight isn't the cure-all; don't feel like you have to wait til you're "thin" to deserve to really live."
are you literally writing this to me? because i feel like you are, even though i know you're not.
i love you. i really do. and i love every part of you, every inch of you, every bit of you and i wouldn't change a thing about you.
i don't know what this comment is about. just that i read what you said and i'm happy that you said it and i really just adore you.
-Sam Lupin