I have no idea what size I am anymore.
Have you ever had the experience when you lose weight, that your mental construct of how big you are doesn't line up with reality anymore?
I bought these nice pants for interviewing maybe 2 months ago? At the time, the 14s fit just right, and the 12s looked mostly ok except for a little upcrack, which I consider seriously unprofessional. I decided to go with the 14s rather than risk walking into an interview with a semi-wedgie.
I wore them to drop off a resume yesterday and they were huge. Not "You look trashy" huge, but I had to work to keep them from wadding up under my belt (which was quite necessary to keep them at the right latitude).
Today I went back to the store and brought 12s and 10s to the fitting room. I looked at the 10s and thought: there is no way that's coming up past my thighs.
They fit almost perfectly.
It's really confusing, especially with regard to my "problem areas." I have a round, chubby face. I hate my soft cheeks and rounded chin. Some days I'm ok with my reflection, sometimes I find it seriously disturbing. Some pics I'm ok with, some I find seriously disturbing. What troubles me the most about the pics is that there are two from about 160 pounds that I think were actually taken the same day. In one (that I took myself) I think my face looks really nice. In the other, I look like I'm storing marshmallows like a chipmunk. Posture & camera angle is just as important as weight in determining how my face looks in photos, so I can't even rely on my usual method of comparing 2 photos to look for progress.
<sigh>
to answer your question: yes. especially on the subway, when i look at the train windows and i see my reflection. sometimes, even if i've lost weight, i'll look a little bigger and think, "well, hmmm. that didn't do it. better keep it up then."
ReplyDeletebut holy poop! clothes and photos. those things scare me. they're so deceptive.
I know exactly what you mean. I have lost weight recently too and even though some of my classmates noticed, I can't see it. But I had a practical exam two days ago that I had to wear clinic attire for and all of my clinic clothes were HUGE on me. I looked awful and none of my dress pants had any belt loops so I couldn't even wear a belt to keep them up. They kept falling down and I felt super unprofessional all day. Then one of my classmates was like "I was right. I knew you were losing weight".
ReplyDeleteWhy can't I see it?
Belt loops are definitely on my "mandatory" list when I'm pants shopping! At least until suspenders come back in style...
DeleteA couple years ago when I was at my lowest weight I experienced that. Looking at pants (especially pants) and thinking "there's no way those are going on me". My first pair of size 8s actually scared me. Now I'm back up to a size 14 and I have the opposite problem. I think are these gonna be too big and they're invariably tight on me.
ReplyDelete<3
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